Jack’s Blog

Do not try to hide things from others. Refuse to have any

hidden agendas. You might think you can pull a fast one on

someone else. You can’t. Most people have good intuition and

even though they may not be able to consciously determine

that you are hiding something, they very likely will have an

uneasy feeling around you. If they don`t feel comfortable

around you, they won’t be able to trust you.

Another sinister aspect of having hidden agenda is that it

erodes your ability to trust others. You will assume that if

you aren’t fully forthcoming, other people aren’t either.

When you are trustworthy, however, you will see others as

more trustworthy too.

2. Be sincere

This is similar to the previous point. Only say what you

mean. Be impeccably honest with your words. Refuse to try and

craft your words to manipulate others. Don`t give fake

compliments, patronize others or say something just because

you think you are supposed to. Again, people have good BS

detectors. When others know that you only speak genuinely, it

increases their capacity to trust you. Everyone loves

authenticity.

3. Focus on adding value

In any relationship, always have the best interest of others

at heart. Work hard to give as much or more than you get.

When you consistently add value to someone`s life, they not

only feel like you are on their side, they also have the urge

to reciprocate. In Business relationships, this means always

under-promise and over-deliver. In personal relationships,

focusing on meeting the needs of the other person instead of

taking in order to get your own needs met.

4. Be present

The last thing anyone wants is to have a conversation with

someone who isn’t there. Instead of retreating into your

head, focus on listening to others. Whenever you are with

someone, make them your primary focus. Don’t think about

work while you are at Home talking to your spouse. Don’t

think about life at Home when you are with a client. When it

comes to relationships, presence means quality time and

quality time builds trust.

5. Always treat people with respect

Ever since we were little kids, we have been taught to be

respectful. However, when our standards get violated or there

is no one around to see (read: we don`t think there will be

any consequences), we can often engage in petty behavior.

This encompasses a wide range of actions from personal

attacks during arguments to gossiping behind someone’s back.

Always remember that another person’s inherent worth as a

human being entitles them to be treated with dignity. When

people know that you will always treat with them respect, it

is very natural for trust to flourish.

6. Take responsibility

When you mess up, which you invariably will, be quick to

clean it up. Skip the excuses and just take responsibility.

Justifying and making excuses may help you in the short term

but in the long run, it does nothing for your character or

the level of trust you are given. Accountability is a rare

trait these days with most people wanting to avoid negative

consequences at all costs. Dare to be different and you will

win the trust of others.

7. Focus on feedback

Unless you`re a mind reader, the only way you can know how

well a relationship is going is by getting feedback from the

other person. Be not only willing to accept feedback –

actively seek it out. Many people are afraid to give you

feedback, especially if its negative, out of fear that they

will offend. Ask with sincerity and respond respectfully and

others will be far more willing. Take both the positive and

negative into account along with your own judgment and adjust

your behaviour accordingly.

8. Take criticism well

Learn to handle criticism with grace. Instead of getting

defensive, consider the possibility that what the other

person is saying might be true. Closing yourself off from

criticism has the effect of closing off all communication.

In some cases, the criticism may indeed be inaccurate. In

these instances, you have the opportunity to show empathy.

Try to understand the problem from the other person’s point

of view. Perhaps the criticism is just a thinly veiled attack

that stems from a deeper upset they may have with you. In

these cases, your willingness to dig deeper without getting

defensive will certainly enhance the trust in the

relationship.

9. Set boundaries

Be clear about how you expect people to behave around you.

Again, do this in a mature manner: be sincere and respectful.

When you have clear standards, people know exactly how to

behave around you and that gives them certainty. The strength

that you communicate by setting boundaries builds trust –

when someone knows that they can`t take advantage you that

alleviates the fear that someone else will.

10. Be a class act

Hold yourself to a higher a standard. Be quick to apologize

when you know you are wrong. Only speak well of others, even

those who don`t speak well of you.

Why should you do this? First, imagine what it would do to

your sense of self to know that other people only have good

experiences with you. Second, imagine how much trust such

behaviour engenders in others. Finally, imagine the example

you set for others – the conduct of others will improve just

by being around you consistently.

11. Your word is your bond

Keep all the promises you make and ensure that you make

promises only sparingly. Make your word stronger than any

written contract. Refuse to make empty promises and

manipulate people.

When a promise you have made is no longer beneficial to you,

instead of deciding to not follow through, attempt to

renegotiate the deal. When you renegotiate the agreement,

ensure that the new commitment provides even more value to

the other person.

12. Be consistent